The start of something…

This post, and blog I guess, originally started off with the line, “I don’t like my birthday.” And it’s true, I don’t.

But I don’t know that it’s my birthday that’s the problem anymore.  I’m basing this entirely on the two weeks I had leading up to my 30th birthday, not too long ago.  Saying that it didn’t go well is a bit of an understatement for a few reasons that I may get into later.

So, why do I not like my birthday?  I think it’s because I use that day as the mark of another year being gone.  Some people use New Years, others might use Christmas…the odd duck here and there could mark the passage of time via Arbor Day.  Whatever floats your boat but doesn’t sink your rubber ducky, I suppose.

Every year I’m struck with this annoying feeling of restlessness.  A feeling of not doing everything that I could in the last year.  That sinking feeling that more time has been wasted.  Maybe it’s the fact that once you leave college and settle into a routine, it becomes exactly that.  Or maybe it’s the wimpification of our souls.  That whole “well, it’s dangerous/bad for me/feels too good/isn’t who I am so I shouldn’t, even though I want to mindset.

We are living in the age of the lily-livered, where everything is a pallid parody of itself, from salt-free pretzels to the schooling of children amid foam corner protectors and flame-retardant paper.

Gone, at least among the responsible professional class, is the exuberance of the feast.  Gone is the grand and pointless gesture. – David Brooks, New York Times, March 12, 2005

(I’m about to curse, so if you’re my mother, grandmother or someone slightly offended by blue language, well…I’m sorry.)

To hell with that shit.  I’m tired of it.  If you know me, you’ll know I spend, or at least use to spend, a stupid amount of time worrying, planning and plotting.  It was wasted time.

There, I said it.

I’m tired of it.  I’m tired of feeling like shit every time my birthday rolls around, tired of that nagging haunting “what if” running through the back of my mind.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve lived well.  I’ve had my own fair share of adventures.  Hell, even more than some, but that doesn’t seem to be doing a damn bit of good in quieting my obnoxious soul come every October 29.

How do I go about shaking loose the shackles of my fear of missing out and experiencing things?  I make a list.  A list of 31 things that I’m going to attempt to do and accomplish before I turn 31.  31×31.  The idea isn’t my own.  A few friends from high school came up with it and are doing their own and well hell, I know better than to argue against a good idea.

Every one of the trials and tribulations of the next year will be documented here.  Come back often, check in frequently, join me and let me know what you think about all of this.  To be perfectly fair, I’m planning on wrangling a few of you into doing some of these with me anyway, so you might as well start getting used to the idea.

Here we go.

2 Responses to “The start of something…”

  1. John k December 7, 2010 at 1:36 pm #

    I hear you steve loud and clear! My current experience has motivated me to attempt some things I never thought I would. It’s that push defined by something in life yours a day in time “birthday”, mine a job lol. I like this idea 31×31 or in my case a little higher. I look forward to seeing your list.

    J

    • SZimmermann December 8, 2010 at 10:27 am #

      Thanks, buddy! I appreciate the support and feedback. Don’t let the man get you down!

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